Diana Hill: How Pain Can Lead to What Matters Most

Evelyn Reed · 2026-10-27

When we take the time to be truly, compassionately present with our discomfort, we can connect with what we care about most—and we can start to imagine creative ways we might act on that care. That's the heart of Diana Hill's work. She's a clinical psychologist who believes that pain isn't something to run from or fix. It's a signal—a doorway, even—to what we value most deeply. ### The Counterintuitive Path to Meaning Most of us spend a lot of energy trying to avoid discomfort. We distract ourselves, numb out, or push through. But Hill suggests something different: what if we turned toward the pain? Not to wallow in it, but to listen to it. When you get curious about your discomfort—when you ask, "What is this feeling trying to tell me?"—you often find that it points to something you care about. Anxiety about a presentation might reveal that you value doing good work. Sadness about a relationship might show how much you value connection. > "Pain is not the enemy of a meaningful life; it's often the price of admission." — Diana Hill ### A Practice for Staying Present Hill offers a simple practice: the next time you notice discomfort, pause. Take a breath. Instead of immediately trying to escape, see if you can be with it for just a moment longer. Ask yourself: - What am I feeling right now, in my body? - What does this feeling seem to be pointing toward? - If I weren't afraid of this discomfort, what would I do? This isn't about forcing yourself to feel bad. It's about expanding your capacity to be present with all of your experience—the pleasant and the unpleasant. And from that place of presence, you can choose actions that align with your values. ### Turning Pain into Action Once you've connected with what you care about, the next step is to act. Hill encourages us to imagine creative ways to move toward our values, even when it's uncomfortable. Maybe that means having a difficult conversation, setting a boundary, or finally starting that project you've been putting off. The key is to hold both the discomfort and the care at the same time. You don't have to wait for the pain to go away before you start living. In fact, the pain might be the very thing that shows you what living means to you. So the next time you feel that familiar urge to run from discomfort, try staying just a little longer. You might be surprised by what you find on the other side.