Diana Hill: Finding Meaning in Pain (It's Not What You Think)

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Discover how being present with discomfort can lead to a more meaningful life, with insights from Diana Hill on turning pain into a path toward what matters most.

When we take the time to be truly, compassionately present with our discomfort, we can connect with what we care about most—and we can start to imagine creative ways we might act on that care. That's the heart of Diana Hill's approach to mindful living. But let's be real: sitting with pain isn't exactly a fun Saturday afternoon activity. Most of us spend a lot of energy avoiding discomfort—distracting ourselves, numbing out, staying busy. And yet, the very things we avoid often hold the key to what we value most. ### The Counterintuitive Path to Meaning Diana Hill, a clinical psychologist and mindfulness teacher, suggests that meaning isn't found in spite of pain—it's found through it. When we stop running from discomfort and instead turn toward it with curiosity and compassion, something shifts. We start to see what truly matters to us. Think about it this way: if you never felt lonely, would you cherish deep connection? If you never experienced failure, would you appreciate growth? Pain isn't just something to get through—it's a signal, pointing us toward what we care about. > "Pain is not the enemy of meaning; it's often the doorway to it." — Diana Hill ### How to Practice Being Present with Discomfort So how do we actually do this? It's not about forcing ourselves to feel bad. It's about gently turning toward the discomfort when it arises, with kindness. Here are a few simple ways to start: - **Pause and name it.** When you notice discomfort, silently say, "This is pain." Naming it creates a little space between you and the feeling. - **Breathe into it.** Instead of tensing up, take a slow breath and imagine softening around the edges of the sensation. - **Ask what it's pointing to.** Is this sadness about a lost connection? Anxiety about something you care about? Get curious. - **Take one small step.** Once you understand what the pain is pointing to, ask: What's one tiny action I can take that honors that value? These aren't quick fixes. They're practices—things we get better at over time. And they don't require a meditation cushion or a retreat. You can do them in line at the grocery store, in a tense meeting, or in the middle of a sleepless night. ### Why This Matters for Your Well-Being Avoiding discomfort might feel safer in the short term, but over time it narrows our lives. We stop taking risks, stop speaking up, stop pursuing what matters. By contrast, learning to be present with pain expands our capacity to live fully. Diana Hill's work reminds us that we don't have to be fearless. We just have to be willing. Willing to feel what we feel, to listen to what it's telling us, and to act on what we care about—even when it's hard. That's where meaning lives. So the next time discomfort shows up, try not to push it away. Instead, get curious. You might just find that it's leading you somewhere important.