The 'Allowing' Secret That Changes Everything

Amanda Wilson · 2026-10-01

### The Art of Letting Go Ever feel like you're constantly swimming upstream? Like life is a series of battles you have to win? Barry Boyce, editor-in-chief of Mindful, suggests a different approach: the practice of allowing. It's not about giving up or being passive. It's about softening your grip and letting life flow. ### What Allowing Really Means Allowing doesn't mean you stop caring or stop taking action. It means you stop resisting what's already here. You acknowledge your feelings, your circumstances, and the people around you without immediately trying to fix or change them. It's a light touch, like holding a butterfly without crushing its wings. > "Allowing is the art of making space for what is, so you can respond wisely instead of reacting blindly." — Barry Boyce ### Why It's So Hard (And Why It's Worth It) We're wired to control. From an early age, we're taught to plan, achieve, and manage. But life is messy. People disappoint us. Plans fall apart. When we resist, we create tension and suffering. Allowing releases that tension. It doesn't mean you condone everything; it means you stop fighting reality and start working with it. ### How to Practice Allowing in Daily Life You don't need a meditation cushion to practice allowing. You can do it anywhere: - **In traffic:** Instead of fuming, notice your frustration. Breathe. Allow the delay to be there. You might find you arrive calmer. - **In conversations:** When someone says something you disagree with, pause. Allow their perspective to exist without immediately rebutting. You might learn something. - **In your own mind:** When a difficult emotion arises, don't push it away. Say, "I see you. You're welcome here." Allow it to be, and it will often pass more quickly. ### The Ripple Effect of Allowing When you practice allowing, you become more adaptable. You respond to life's curveballs with grace instead of resistance. Relationships improve because you're not constantly trying to change others. You feel lighter, freer, and more at peace. It's not about becoming a doormat; it's about becoming a willow tree that bends in the storm instead of breaking. ### Start Small, Stay Curious Try allowing for just one day. Pick one area—maybe your morning routine or your commute—and see what happens when you let go of the need to control. You might be surprised at how much easier everything feels. Remember, it's a practice, not a perfect. Be gentle with yourself as you learn the light touch of allowing.